When it's time to break up a relationship

“Good things fall apart.”

Chinua Achebe wrote a whole book on it. Illenium and Jon Bellion produced a beautiful melody about it . I bet this old adage will be recited till the end of times. But, why so ?

Because it holds a truth so simple yet so painful . That sometimes good things fall apart. The relationship that we spent so much time building, has been demolished one swoop of the wrecking ball, Miley Cyrus kando. In some cases the swoop is gradual but, either way your heart shatters in the end.

It is better to call a spade a spade and not a big spoon . You can't feed on a spade now can you ?

So how do you know when your forever has come to an end? Check out the following indicators and make an informed decision.

Abuse of ANY kind.

Let’s start with the obvious one because with society and conditioning we can tend to overlook the most crimson of flags. Abuse of any kind, is a no-no. Its time to breakup a relationship when Abuse of any kind happens and continues to happen. Checkout the following highlighted forms of abuse.

Sexual abuse ;

when you communicate your discomfort and your partner doesn’t respect that. ( Even the kinkiest of situations have safe words). They may keep going till they are sexually satisfied at the expense of your comfort.

Physical abuse;

This may include intentional bodily harm like a slap, a push, a kick .You know the difference between a playful spank and a fist on your face . Trust yourself honey .

Verbal abuse ;

They call you names and talk to to you in a demeaning manner . They may even do so in front of your friends . Someone who would embarrass you intentionally is not partner material. Never ignore this trait because overtime you start believing the words of the manipulator.

Emotional abuse :

The twin of verbal abuse but it has extra layer to it . it can manifest in various ways but you constantly feel unsafe with the person .

You may find yourself walking on eggshells because you are afraid of their anger. Doubting your own reality because they are constantly denying what they did or said.

This kind of abuse is kind to stand up against. It is best to not skip over those ‘crazy ‘ moments when talking to a trusted friend or a therapist.

Financial abuse;

Neglecting your own needs to supplement the needs of others is a sure sign that you are taking more than you can handle.

The non-existent money conversation can lead to financial abuse later on in the relationship. The undefined budget limits of an individual as a couple , as a polycule can easily lead to a situation where one partner is overstretched .

If you feel financially overwhelmed, it is better to start drawing up your own budget limits and communicate them to your your romantic partner(s).It is okay to communicate your budget limits with someone you are bumping beauties with , don't you think ?

If they keep overstepping those boundaries , and worse (making you feel guilty for it) , its sad but you may have to let them go. Easier said than done but you will be much happier .

So , in short we are saying

It is time to break up a relationship when they treat you like shit. Or you feel like shit every time you are with them . Love is a beautiful thing. It is not strenuous . You will not have to fetch the moon to be deemed worthy .

Gather your love and start pouring into your cup first , whatever overflows is what you can pour unto others . May you love and be loved

Next time , we will look into more reasons you should let that stale relationship go.