F*ck living with anxiety, i broke up with it

Worry Pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose”

-Eckhart Tolle

Have you ever felt like you are constantly walking on egg shells, on edge. Like if you do one wrong thing then your life is over . Therefore, you avoid doing the wrong the thing and in so doing , you avoid doing anything really . You leave your projects half finished, chores half done, poems half written. Living a half a life. Only that you are not Nairobi.

This propels you to more feelings of guilt for not doing enough . Bringing in more worry and increased irritability . Oh I haven't even started on the physical symptoms yet .

Anxiety isn't just feelings of nervousness or worrying. It can be a key derailer in one’s life. Crippling you from ever doing anything. So, What are the few things that we can start doing to disseminate the stifling grasp that Anxiety has on our our necks.

1. Disowning it

“ You know I have high anxiety “ , “My anxiety can’t let me.” If you have uttered such statements claiming Anxiety as your one and only then you are not the only one. I too, have been guilty of this in the past . However, I think this ‘ownership’ of anxiety can engrain it in our subconcious that this thing is part of us , and that attacking it, is attacking us. Disowning Anxiety is a major step in tackling it. Affirmations such as

Dear Anxiety, I release you. You are not mine anymore . I am not yours.

Can help us immensely.

2. Having a Schedule

Part of anxiety is constantly living on edge while worrying that you are not doing enough . Having a schedule and a detailed to-do-list has helped me relax. For instance, when you have scheduled laundry for Thursday , you won't feel the need to do it on Monday just because you have dirty sheets you are worried about . That project can wait till morning because you scheduled it that way.

This will help reduce the worry over not doing something. Let your schedule favor you , do 30- 40 min sessions instead of 2 hr. blocks for instance.

3. Meditation

The thing with anxiety is that our minds are in a constant race . The aim of meditation is to tap into stillness. You can always start with five minute guided mediation and grow at your pace . The aim is to have a still minute . You can also use this time to recite some positive affirmations.

4. Allow yourself to make mistakes

Part of anxiety is that you fear making mistakes because you were heavily punished in the past or for some other reason. It is even worse when you are a queer soul in a not-so-friendly environment because you feel like you are always in the wrong just by existing .

Don’t beat yourself up about not meeting deadlines and what not . Just acknowledge that you even tried . This will help you avoid the loop of worrying . Therefore, allow yourself to make mistakes. It is in that chaos that you the star shall rise.

5. Breathe

Just breathe . Take a deep breath. You will be fine .You will be more than fine.

Rome wasn’t built in a day . I doubt that the limitless soul that you are will. Give yourself time .Set yourself free to just be.

Since I broke up with Anxiety I don’t ever want to go back.

May you love and be loved . Beautiful, Queer Child.